40 First Dates

Recommended by the wonderful AlrightTit, I draw your attention to 40 First Dates, A brit in LA trying to get the hang of this American style dating malarkey. She’s only on date 3 but it’s a good laugh and I think the Brits and Yanks (and Cannuks, do you do the dating thang in Canada?) amongst us. As it will hopefully clue our cousins across the pond in to how we do dating or rather don’t do dating, and should give us a clue to as how this thing works as it seems to be spreading over here.

Waterfalls

I’m drawing yet another article to your attention readers here, it’s not too long and very interesting, and it’s about the British censors finally allowing female ejaculation on screen.

I agree with the writer, that there is irony in an industry full of fakery taking this long to allow something real. And it seems amazing as recently as 2002 the BBFC was still saying that female ejaculation didn’t exist. What is worse, I think, is that so many women are still embarrassed by it and don’t know what it is. Women and men who don’t know what or where the female G-spot is, hell even science is confused by it never mind your person on the street (or should that be in the bed?).

Female sexuality is a tricky thing, and in the last decade or so there seems to have been a trend of “embracing” it by taking pole dancing lessons and sleeping about.  When talking to my mother about this, her words were “In the sixties when we marched for equality, it wasn’t for this.” Personally when sleeping with a bunch of people is viewed as the same for both sexes not stud vs. slut I’ll view it as equality.

But how do we embrace out sexuality without turning into something that would make Jordan blush? And is there even a problem with this?

I am a very sexual person, I am happy with my sexuality, I like men, I like women, I like pleasure and I’m open about this. Though I’m picky about who shares my bed, I’d flirt with a table leg given the chance. I have slept with people just for the pleasure of it, as opposed to wanting to connect with someone on a more intimate level. And to be honest I do have a problem with women who fuck about for the hell of it, but, and here’s the important bit, I have just as much of a problem with men who fuck about for the hell of it.

I don’t think striving for equality and embracing our sexuality should be about being able to binge drink, start fights and shag round the whole town just like men can and be respected for it by our peers. Because there’s nothing to be respected about it, though I suppose we’re now being despised equally as idiots.

The whole point of gender equality and feminism was to prove we could do the same things a man does and just as well. Not to prove we could do the same things a man does and just as badly.

As women we have our own faults, we don’t need to take on theirs as well.

Common

Well, it’s week 2 of work, and I’ve realised the main problem, why I don’t want to go to work in  the morning. I have absolutely nothing in common with any of the trainees or anyone who already works there. The other trainee’s are all graduates, all roughly my age aside from 3 (out of 13), yet I struggle to find conversation topics. And I am amazed some of them are let out unsupervised never mind somehow managed to get degrees. They guys all talk about footie, the girls about EastEnders and X-Factor, they were prudishly shocked when someone had got some Ann Summer’s vouchers as a leaving pressie for a colleague. They whispered about him in dark tones and called him a pervert… He brought her some Ann Summers vouchers, he didn’t turn up dressed as a gimp with a strap-on saying she could roger him goodbye. Possibly it was an in joke between them, we don’t know, she wasn’t offended by it, why should they be?! It was at this point, having finished my book, I did not then get my copy of Filament out to read. I have no problem with my sexuality, and I’m open about it. However, if it’s going to cause gossip behind my back and make my co-workers recoil in horror from me. I’d rather keep quiet thanks.

In counterpoint the office is remarkable relaxed, too relaxed. I’m a bolshy hippy type but I do like to get a little work done. Some people in the office do work, the “pervert”, for instance, who is a lovely friendly chap, gets on with his work and is very helpful, a great person to help the new starters.  However, the majority gab all day, about horses, clubbing and sex mainly. Now I like horses, clubbing and sex, but I don’t talk about them 24/7 at work, nor do I in a voice that carries across an entire floor. Gossip is essential in the work place, people are not robots they need to be able to have a wee natter with the person sat next to them, or around the water cooler so to speak. But you can work and talk and you can last more than 5 minutes without screeching across the office about your last shag. It’s like being back at school, people were being rolled about on chairs, having people jump up behind them and put bags over their heads. Actually in all the schools I went to there was a sight more discipline, even the shite one that gave me a nervous breakdown.

My mother is shocked by this behaviour, she is management in a similar organisation, and is not against me now going for an interview with the police, even though it’s only a part time job.

First Week

Tomorrow I start my second week at work, and I suppose I should enlighten you all on how the first week went. It was mainly boring, like really, really boring. The trainers have been nice enough, but they’ve spent days teaching what could have been done in hours. The problem with this is that everyone except me got bored and let their attention wonder so had to ask stupid questions making the training last even longer. And I’ve been bored out of my tiny little mind, then getting incredibly angry with everyone for being so bloody thick! I almost walked out on Friday, this is even with half of the days going past in a drug filled haze as I had some bad cramps and had to take some of the good stuff*.

The only perk of the week is that although there is no-one in my group that’s hot, there are a few cuties about the office, though non of the women are much to look at, though there are a few nice guys. In fact one of them seemed to be spending a lot of time eyeing me up on the tour he gave, one of the other new starters noticed it the next day when we gave each other a shy smile when he walked past. “He likes you” said my colleague, “Erm yeah he’s nice” is stuttered, “He kept looking at you on the tour…”, I quickly changed the subject. It’s not like me to be shy but the guy I was talking to is old enough to be my dad. And I don’t want wild rumours flying round the trainees about this, I’m not in the mood to be teased about it, and as he’s a manager it may be not a done thing.

Also since I’ve been at work, I’ve had three interview offers from various jobs I applied for several months ago. Typical.

* My lovely morphine based drugs.

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