So it’s now 2010, apparently we’re supposed to be happy about this? I’m not sure anyway got me thinking about what a fucked up shitty year 2009 was for me and how I hope to G-d 2010 will be better. In brief:
January: My lover breaks up with me for another woman with no warning days before my birthday and about 2 weeks before valentines day. Oh and he was probably cheating on me throughout January. I go up to Aberdeen to escape where a friend gets engaged to his girlfriend (who we all hate) and seems to have forgotten the fact that someone else is very obviously in love with him and he is with her. My ex’s friends send me abusive texts making everything my fault, despite the fact I was madly in love with him and he ditched me.
February: After weeks of crying I loose all trust in men completely and am a complete wreak, the centre of my life has vanished, and I still love him and think of him every day. An old school friend who has a girlfriend makes moves on me and won’t leave me alone (still won’t leave me alone actually, and he has a different girlfriend now)
March: I started to lean to drive with my over-charging, abusive, racist, anti-Semitic, bully of an instructor, he made me cry a lot, I still flinch when I have to say “I don’t know” as an answer to someone’s question, as he would launch into a tirade at me if I ever said this and didn’t seem far from hitting me. He called me a “big cry baby” too, charming man. I also realised that I had in all probability had a miscarriage whist with my ex, as I need the depo injection every 2 months not every 3 so was unprotected for 3 months on & off while we were together.
April: In an effort to get over my ex I joined match and met a really lovely guy, who was incredibly kind and understanding, but, he ended up getting a job he didn’t think he had, which would have made it nigh on impossible to see each other, and much of the day he would be without his mobile so if I had a big down swing and needed him I wouldn’t be able to get hold of him. We both built our hopes up and both got burnt. Also a creepy guy tried to get me in his car whilst walking the dog.
May: was an incredibly boring month, so much so there are only 4 posts to it. But I did get back in contact with a man who well I was more than half in love with ever since we’d met. Things were going really well between us again but of course it fucks up later in the year.
June: Nightjack was unmasked and the whole blogsphere rose up in anger at it. And it did effect me, many police bloggers shut their blogs down and a lot of us anonymous and semi-anonymous bloggers got quite worried.
I got this far though this post and gave up re-living what a shit 365 days it’s been was just too depressing. Needless to say, the rest of last year was just was bad if not worse than the first half.
I am hoping and praying so much 2010 will be different, not sure I can take another year like the last.