BestFriend once commented several years ago that my life was like a soap opera, she’s right, drama seems to follow me, especially where personal relationships are concerned. BestFriend’s comment was borne testament to once again this morning. Before I go onto that I’m going to lay a little background down for new readers and to remind old readers what happened.
In my 3rd year of uni I met someone, he was very much my type and a lovely chap, we met several times, had coffee, lunch but nothing ever happened. He was a lecturer at my university though not a lecturer of mine. After I had graduated he sent me a message on myspace, along the lines of “I really like you I always have, but because you were a student I didn’t want to do anything. Now you’ve graduated do you want to meet up?” Now for some reason myspace was being arsey it never sent me the email saying so-and-so has sent you a message. So I didn’t get the message for about 3 months. When I did get it we talked on facebook chat (I’d jumped ship on myspace by this point) and he all but declaired his undying love for me.
We deicided to meet up, he would soon be leaving the country but we figured even a short time together was better than nothing, at the last minute he pulled out, decided it would cause too much pain, but we promised to stay in contact and we did. But we also stayed more than friends. He called me “his angel” told me that he loved me many times and that I would “remain forever the special one” he was also supposed to be visiting the UK again for business and wanted to meet up.
A reader from my old blog contacted me, she wanted to know where the new one was, we actually had a class at university together, I had no idea she read it. But via the wonders of facebook I knew that she knew this man, I replied along the lines of “my relationship with X is rather complicated, always has been and remains to be I’d rather know how well you knew him before giving you the address of this.”
This morning I woke up to her replies, yes there were 2, the first saying basically “He was a lecturer and is now a friend, don’t worry, I’d not tell him anything you wrote.” I looked at the second assuming she’d just sent the same email twice but double checking to be sure. This one was very different:
“Ok, I’ve been lied to enough this past year that I’m ashamed to have gone and done the same to you. Please accept my most wholehearted apologies for the email I sent you an hour ago. Since you have been honest with me, you deserve nothing less than my complete honesty with you. I lied because I was afraid that if I were honest, you may feel scared and not be honest anymore with me – but this is wrong of me to presume this, so I offer you here the entire truth. ”
I won’t write her entire email down, suffice to say it boils down to this; She is X’s wife, and she has been for longer than I have known him…
For the past 2 years I have been his unwitting mistress while his wife was (almost) blissfully unaware, she suspected something, but had no idea it was me.
We have been exchanging emails all morning, it has been strangely cathartic for both of us. All the worries about her marriage she’s been able to confess as I was the cause of them. She has asked for some of the emails he sent, I have obliged, I can’t not. She deserves to know the entire truth, that this wasn’t some idle cybering of a bored husband but a full fledged affair for all but distance. Had we met up when he was over here we would have slept together, all the while me thinking he was single.
I do not know what she is going to do, she has asked me not to tell him and I don’t want to. She needs to think about what to do.
And I am having to come to terms with the fact that this morning I wrecked a marriage while she reads his words of love to me.