2 long

So it’s been 2 months since my last post, the main reasons being I’ve been very down and really quite ill, there have been more than a dozen times I’ve thought I should write something, but then realised aside from “meh” I had absolutely nothing to say.

Over the past few weeks my health, both mental and physical has been improving, though I’ve been stuck with yet another bout of tonsillitis. There is a bright side to this, it’s the fifth time I’ve had tonsillitis in the past 12 months, so I’m finally getting a referral to the ENT, and hopefully, getting my tonsils out. The past 2 times I’ve had tonsillitis I’ve had to visit hospital and it knocks me for six for a good month or so, the prospect of finally something being done about it has cheered me up a lot.

The escorting was put on hold while I was very ill, but I’ve picked it up again and it’s been going pretty well, I had my first total ass-hole of a client, who is now black-listed in terms of myself and I’ve spread the word to other girls as much as I’m able. Aside from him, I’ve had some great guys, most of them I wonder why on earth they are using me, but for whatever reason it pays my bills!

I’ve not attended university at all this term, thanks to being so damn ill, however, they’ve agreed to let me go down to part time, so I’m hoping next year is better. I still have exams to revise for so I’m going to start cracking on with that.

And the biggest news has been left until the end… I’ve bought a house! Exciting stuff and it makes me a responsible adult by-proxy which is very weird. I have also adopted a moggie to live with me and my dog, and my lodger. He’s currently staying with me in my rented accommodation as the shelter couldn’t hold him any longer, we just haven’t informed my landlord and my house-mate is happy to keep quiet. Hopefully me, and the moggie, will be able to move soon once all the paperwork is sorted. Said moggie is currently stretched across my bed snoring, and I’m not quite sure how I’ll manage to fit in there.

I know this has been a bit of a boring post, but I just wanted to do a brief catch-up, let you know I’m not dead and hopefully I’ll be writing more fun stuff soon!

Kitten

I’ve mentioned in the past how I’m quite cat like in various circumstances, I think we all like to identify ourselves with certain animals (always the sexy or cool ones)*, and moving in the geeky and kinky circles that I do I know a lot of people who are into various forms of anthropomorphising animals or animalising themselves. Whether they are furrys, niko-girls, into puppy or horse-play or Therianthropes. And I have some interesting discussions with them, as an anthropologist, I can quite scientifically point out that a) they are romanticising animals, animals don’t think, they are not noble or virtuous they just are, they exist and that’s it b) many behaviours, within ourselves, we wishfully identify as being cat/dog/whatever are in-fact just left over primate behaviours that polite society has buried c) it is often, though by no-means always the case, that people pick and choose, male lions kill their young more often that not, but I don’t see anyone who identify with a lion saying they feel like killing babies.

And I’m not trying to knock anyone’s beliefs here, I’m writing in the interest of debate, mainly a debate within myself. I think if you have a spirit animal, or were an animal in a past life, you will take on the “bad” and “good” sides of that animal**, the human side of things is to not give in to the bad things, just as we try to do anyway (or as most of us do).  Also even if you want to take on aspects of any animal take a look at yourself first, learn about the animal that is Homo sapiens, and take a look at non-human primates, and see where certain behaviours really come from.

Having said all that, I think if you wanna dress up a kitten or whatever then go for it, it’s all in good fun, as ever, it’s when people take it too seriously  that they get on my nerves. I can also see why people would want to identify with a spirit animal and maybe they do exist, maybe we’ve all got a guardian cat (or sea urchin) hovering over our shoulders, it is certainly no more unbelievable than the parting of the Red Sea or turning water into wine.

And having said all of that moving in the circles I do, we’re ever so fond of labels, especially in the BDSM community***, so as someone who is liable to purr and be distracted for hours by a ball of string, I’ve been trying to work out where I fit into all of this. I quite like the idea of having kitty ears and a tail, cos it’s fun and I can swish it about, but I’m not a neko-girl as such, not human enough, neither am I a kitten, the cat-like aspect of me isn’t there to be someone’s slave (when have you ever known a cat to be slave like?). I also never thought of myself as a kitten definitely a cat whenever I have put any thought into it. Could I believe I was a cat in a past life, possible, but I don’t actually believe it, just acknowledge it as a possibility. I do believe in reincarnation, and it’s not a far jump to believe that animals have souls too. But I’m uncomfortable with the Therian label, talking to various therians I don’t see myself in that camp at all. Lets say I was a cat in a past life, well I’m a human in this one, just a few traits have carried over, I don’t feel I have a cats soul and I’m in the wrong body (although I do sometimes try & sleep in impossible positions (for a human)). And although I’m a furry in some respects (strictly speaking anyone who enjoys watching cartoons or drawing anthropomorphised animals is a furry)**** and these are the respects I refer to, I don’t think I’m an animal or go around in fur suit.

So I’m somewhere in the middle of it all, lacking a label but I don’t care I know what I am, a human being with a few cat-like quirks, and although labels are often helpful sometimes they just don’t work. I also hope I didn’t bore you all with this, this was an exercise for me to work out where I was, thinking aloud really.

 

* You never hear anyone say how closely resemble a sea urchin.

** Only good and bad according to our morals and virtues not theirs obviously.

*** Well, with so many fetishes and kinks we need some way of identifying them.

**** So if you liked bugs bunny as a kid, you’re a furry.

Let me see you shake a tail feather.

If you’ve seen the Blues Brothers*you should recognise this “quote”, it’s been on a tab in my browser for weeks waiting me for get round to posting it. Whoever did this caption is a genius and I salute you. I also thought it was a nice note to start my new blog on.

*You better have done or I’m bringing it round to your house and forcing you to watch it a la “A Clockwork Orange”.

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